_edited.png)
If you painted a picture of your younger self, who would you see?
Often, in our own healing practices we are resistant to sitting in emotional places and experiences that led us to feel unsafe in the past. For many of us, these experiences in our early life shaped a perspective of the world and others that revolved around one message: “you have to handle it alone.” In my experience as a mental health therapist, and now going into my first year as a yoga teacher, I’ve seen many individuals who have felt dysregulated, finding certain emotional experiences to feel completely uncontrollable or unmanageable. When you think of the idea of painting a picture of your younger self, you may be met with the mental picture or felt sense of a life or world that felt misshapen and unmanageable. I chose to speak about this experience, because I believe we have the capacity to remold where meaning was shaped from dysregulation and begin to practice new rituals that bring us closer to self.
Firstly, what is our sense of self?
When I speak to the phrase, “sense of self,” I refer to the lens in which we move through and see life. For many people, their sense of self is flooded by a nervous system response that strips them of an authentic and comforting self-perception – one that allows them to internalize, “I am worthy,” “I am loveable,” “I am deserving of connection.” As a therapist, I get to explore where these perceptions from past experiences have shaped negative core beliefs. For example, “I am unworthy,” “I am unlovable,” “I am undeserving of connection.”
It is within the healing and helping professions that I’ve found astounding resources for reconnection to self. How does this look? As a therapist, I draw a lot of my approach from emotionally focused therapy and attachment theory, which orients us to an understanding of the consistency of emotional support from our earliest experiences. Hence, when we think of that painted picture of our youngest self, it may be shaped by messages that stemmed from lack of attunement early on – think of it this way, in an insecure attachment, one is often left to manage and make sense of their experience on their own. If we are emotional beings with the need for connection, and we are left with the message, “you have to manage this alone. . .” how often would this lead you to think, “I’m unable” or “incapable of dealing with this?” This is why I’ve found my role as a secure attachment model in my office, integrated with the practice of combining breath and movement, to be a blessing for many that are seeking to repaint that picture of self.
When we are in that felt sense of safety, we build the capacity to gain awareness of old patterns or cycles and are better able to manage the dysregulation as it takes place. We do this by finding safe places to explore the meaning we’ve formed from the experiences in our lives, and turning to lean into those earlier perceptions with compassion, kindness, and love. When we can sit with those perceptions and lean in to hold space for that younger self (which is a different journey for everyone – one that is not defined by a set timeline), we are often able to express underlying emotions that felt cutoff by the meaning we found in places of shame, guilt, loneliness, sadness, and fear. When we get to acknowledge and process these other emotional experiences, we have new space to form new meaning. . . meaning shaped by a felt sense of safety.
Imagine the resilience that forms when we practice this compassion and loving kindness towards parts of self that endured these kinds of experiences. In yoga or therapy, you will see the transformative nature of emotional regulation, offering you space to navigate hurdles that cause fight, flight, freeze, or collapse, and reintegrate practices that invite loving kindness, compassion, and self-love. It all begins with the choice to choose yourself and begin to do the work to find safe spaces and practices that build self-awareness. This will help you prioritize your own needs.
If you need support, or you're seeking a space to reflect on and process experiences in your life, please reach out. You can schedule an intake right here:
If you're looking for a supportive community to practice mindful movement, you can check out events on my facebook page here:
Or, come visit Lifted Lotus Yoga Collective in Kennewick, WA. You can sign-up for donation-based classes right here: https://www.liftedlotusyogacollective.com/yoga-schedule
THANKS!
Comments